Kristin

i can count the only people i like to hang out with onl ike 2 hands. i fucking hate NFA fuck josie right now. I have a busy life. like what the fuck. i dont have a goddamn car its not like i can drive back and forth or leave school whenever and my family is really fukced up all the time and i babysit afterschool someitmes and i actually have school to go OK. like i always talk about how good you are at fashion to ppl and gas ur head up and u like threatened me to not be in the show..like really fuck you. i tried to get you laid last night. like you dont give a shit anymore.

Lulu and steph are legit my only real best friends. like really.

the only thing i've had in 2 days was salad soup and a piece of bread.

i need to eat less tho i shouldnt have eaten that.

i've gained so much weight...it's depressing me so much...
this time last year i was 99 pounds..i've gained a lot.

GW:100 lbs and toned
CW: 116 ;(

i'm also a vegetarian.i've been one for about a year now which is def part of the reason im gaining..all i eat are fucking carbs..
does anyone have any healthy solutions...juice diets...veggie diets..anything...let me know.

since last sunday i've just felt completely lovestoned.
i'm so content right now. i wish it was summer...that would just make everything so much more perfect.
i'm trying out the whole vegetarian thing. it's been 3 days! woo!
tuesday is one whole month.
friday we'll spend the evening together in the city. I'm pretty excited about that.


boring entry.
mm.
i love you<3

I can't take it anymore. Most of the time I can blow it off by mumbling "cunt" under my breath and locking myself in my room. I can't fucking take it anymore. I sat there eating dinner alone in a seperate room crying...I told her what my dad said the other night. She didn't seem to care too much...so she must've been high or drunk...or maybe she is just that fucked up. I hate that she thinks my ENTIRE WORLD revolves around who I'm with at the time. I hate that she treats me like a child. i hate that shes a liar. i hate her.

get me out of here.

so...i guess this is my first post...i always seem to draw a blank when it comes to first entries...so i'll make a list. i'm good at lists.




1. never forget to take my meds
2. find someone who will actually respect the fact that i try.
3. learn to play piano
4. learn to speak French fluently
5. learn to drive
6. write more
7. lose 7 pounds
8. buy a marc jacobs bag
9. bring a boy to the beach
10. stretch everyday
11. sketch everyday
12. learn how to tap dance
13. receive flowers:)
14. sew a dress (and wear it out!)
15. make a new girlfriend.
16. improve my photoshop and indesign skills
17. buy raybans
18. paint more often.
19. visit my aunt diane.
20. get accepted to school somewhere in NYC next year
21. read with a member of the opposite sex by a fireplace
22. hang out with my grandma
23. go hiking
24. learn to surf
25. wake up next to someone.
26. get an A in english. (haha how do i NOT have an A in english)
27. run
28. get a massage
29. read the entire HP series
30. go to Hawaii
31. kiss someone on a ferris wheel
32. loose the fat on my thighs
33. model
34. wear 5' heels.
35. die my hair
36. have a picnic
37. dance again.
38. go scuba diving again
39. QUIT MY JOB!
40. eat spaghetti like Lady and the Tramp.:)
41. throw a party when my parents aren't home.
43. be a small role in a movie
44. paint my room.
45. learn how to take a compliment.
46. plant a tree
47. gondola through Venice
48. vote
49. go to a third world country, to help people.
50. go to Montauk and ride horses like i did when i was little
51. ski a double black diamond.
52. learn to snowboard
53. sell things on ebay
54. buy a nice camera!
55. make love all night and wake up next to that person.
56. Go up in a hot air balloon
57. forgive my mom.
58. go on a road trip
59. work with monkeys.:)
60. go clubbing.
61. get drunk with steph and lulu
62. be someone's role model ^haha.
63. actually use the cuddle sutra book. :)
64. find a really awesome goodwill.
65. recycle.
66. go cliff jumping.
67. write my will
68. make a pizza!
69. visit Brazil
70. finish a journal
71. learn to draw the male physique
72. defeat writer's block
73. see the Great Wall of China
74. accept myself
75. stay smoke free.:)
76. do every single homework assignment for one whole week.
77. stargaze
78. dance with myself
79. Sleep with abir in his sleeping bag.
80. hold my breath for longer than 40 seconds.
81. learn to straddle.
82. buy a beach house.
83. overcome my fear of success.
84. go to the love parade.
85. improve my video game skills.
86. do a self portrait
87. tell my dad how much he means to me.
88. learn to say no and mean it.
89. have an intelligent conversation with my little cousin christopher
90. lay in grass
91. name children...jake..jamie..landon...or madison...god..i'm so gay with the walk to remember names
92. (since we're on the topic of a walk to remember)be in two places at once
93. go to chicago
94. change someone's life in a positive way.
95. get an apartment in the city.
96. go antiquing
97. watch the sunset at the park in Lav.
98. pray everynight.
99. try being a vegetarian,
100. reflect upon my greatest weakness and determine it as my greatest strength